BLOGSQUE

I write less when my mind is occupied with dozen unselected thoughts. I’ve been meaning to write a blog these past few days. I think I’ve already missed out a big chunk of my personal life that even a hundred word blog wouldn’t come off my brain. Every attempt ends up with a white page and a blinking cursor. It’s funny that I can’t get myself to write for my own blog when I’ve been deliberately writing tons of articles for my boss’s blogs.

I love writing, I hate writing.

I love writing for a living. Much that I work in an environment where people understand my odd behaviors as a writer. Yes, writers are odd; they have ways that are quite unenviable. But like I said, I love being in my workplace. Aside from home, it’s the only place where I feel a sense of belongingness. I actually love my cup of coffee in the morning and the fact that it gives me the energy that I need. My belligerent attitude towards writing gives me that gushing adrenaline rush running through my veins. And even despite my chicken like typing skills, I have surprisingly set forth a record that I never knew I would achieve: 25 articles in 12 hours. Of course, that only happened once. After I hit save for that last nasty article on forex trading, I thought I’d lost my mind forever. I was almost ballistic when I realized that I was blatantly unorganized. But thank God I still have my sanity.

In the same way that I love penning, I also hate it as much. I hate the fact that I’m obliged to write on topics that I usually don’t encounter everyday; let alone writing vague and by all odds, absurd topics. It’s never easy being a writer. I hate deadlines. I hate the pressure. I hate the fact that I am not able to deal with my personal sites because I have to be the content writer that I am. But nonetheless, I do get my consolation when the paycheck arrives *wink*. At least, an ice cream from that goes a long way.

In all honesty, I have been battling with my desires in life. But you know what I realized? No matter how hard I drive the other way around, my heart drags me back to where I should be. Need I say more?

And yeah, no more white page and blinking cursor!

Oh wait, missing out doesn’t usually result to the birth of a new blog right? But why am I here? I freakin’ don’t know.

*hoping that this won’t go to waste*